Many people are trapped in cocoons of fear and infirmaties, but God desires to see His children to be set free.  Free to be the beautiful butterflies that He created.

Heaven Came Down and Glory filled my Soul

What makes the TLC so different?  All I can say is that it is God’s ministry.  He has anointed it and has begun great works while raising up leaders.  The presence of the Lord is evident through the miraculous wonders I see.  Those open to receive will be blessed with more than a hot meal and a bag of groceries, they will receive the gifts of Holy Spirit and be influence with the love of Jesus Christ.  

I remember prior to coming to the TLC, sitting at a booth at McDonalds reading the Bible.  I knew the Lord had said, “Come follow me and I will make you a fisher of men.”  I knew I was changed as I was drawn to follow by a thirst that compelled me to seek the Lord in the depths of my being.  

Inside I was completely open to the Lord.  I could draw within my being and connect with a spirit that was powerful, gentle, loving, persuasive, and much much more.  With the awareness of such power, such thirst quenching drawing, I still was trapped inside of cocoon of inferiorities.  

I committed myself to spending Mondays in the quiet with the Lord, fasting and in prayer.  I longed to be alone with God in the sanctuary away from people.  I could have been very content just talking with the Lord, but He had not called me to spend my life constantly pulled away.  With each Monday, He revealed more understanding to me.  I spend Mondays with Him with such tranquility in the quiet.  With that filling I began to step out into areas that were beyond my comfort zone.

It may seem very strange and hard to believe, but I did not like to eat in public and I had a hard time speaking with people.  This was to be an obstacle that I believed the Lord would help me through.  I began to go once a week to McDonald’s to speak to at least one person.  I hoped to share about Jesus, but easily could at least greet someone with a smile and love of Jesus.

One particular day I remember reading Psalm 25:4&5...

“Show me your ways, O Lord, teach me your paths; guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long.” (Ps. 25:4, 5)

After reading I prayed for the Lord to truly show my His ways, to teach me His paths, to make His Word understandable to me that I may share and teach others.  I understood fear and had experienced suicidal depression so it was easy for me to put my trust in the One that pulled me out of that pit of darkness.

For three years I went to college studying Bible and Theology, but it truly was the Lord that taught me.  In the quiet I talked to the Lord nonstop at times.  Once I got frustrated because I felt the Lord was not listening or speaking to me.  I looked up at the stain glass window above the altar and spoke boldly to the Lord.  “I am here...what do you want with me?...I don’t hear You speaking to me.  What do you want me to do?  Why don’t You talk to me? “Then I heard the Lord say, “Be quiet and listen!”

I had been spending this time alone with the Lord talking and not listening.  During these three years not only did I spent time alone with the Lord, but twice I went away from people for an extended time of fasting.  The Lord blessed me much as I drew near to Him.

In those years I was baptized in the Holy Spirit, was blessed with an out of body experience, and saw visions and listened as the Lord gave me directions.  I was not as humble and submissive as Mary.  When the angel came to Mary and told her she would carry the long awaited Messiah, she responded with “I am the Lord’s servant.  May it be to me as you have said.”  

When the Lord spoke to me saying, “I want you to teach my children to pray.”  I said...”Say what!!!  I don’t know how to pray!  How can I teach someone else to pray?”

He said to me paying little attention to my response, “I want you to teach the shepherds to pray for they do not work in my power, but in their own power.  They are leading the flock astray.”  It is amazing to me and grieving to me that I could be so bold to argue with the Master Creator.  But again I explained to Him who He was talking to.  “Do you know what you are asking of me?  How can I influence anyone?  I am a nobody and no one will listen to me.  I have no ability to speak to intellectual people or people of authority.  I cannot even speak!”

Again my pleas did not phase Him.  He continued... “I want you to teach from coast to coast.”

I surrendered to Him in tears and on bended knees.  “I will go Lord where ever You ask me to go and I will do whatever You ask me to do, but please send me a teacher in the flesh.”

It was not my choosing to go to the Total Living Center nor did I choose Pastor Bartow to be my teacher.  I did not even know anything about this ministry or its director.  I lived in Minerva.  The Lord moved me to Canton and then to the inner city.  I lived my life in a secluded life style away from people.  Now the LORD taught me about the life of Jesus.

I came to the TLC looking for a place to volunteer, but more importantly for a place to pull away in the quiet for prayer.  Pastor Bartow showed me a room that recently was an office and handed me his book titled, Bartow’s Healing Handbook.  I sat down and began to read.  I was reading in print what the Lord had been teaching me.  Immediately I knew God had directed my path to meet Pastor Bartow.

The next three years Pastor Bartow had a challenge of teaching me.  You must realize that even though I had experienced the Lord in such awesome and powerful ways, I still had a tremendous problem verbalizing...ANYTHING!  When I said Pastor had a challenge with me, I was speaking great truths.  He had great patience with me.

Many things happened over those three years that I will share at another time.  But what I will say is that I was transformed from a scared caterpillar into a butterfly, which flies free in the love of Jesus.

“Come follow me and I will make you a fisher of men”

“Show me your ways, O Lord, teach me your paths; guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long.” 

“Dear Children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth.”

Have you seen Jesus my Lord?  He’s here in plain view.  Take a look open your eyes, He’ll show life to you!

What makes the Total Living Center unique and different than other soup kitchens and churches?  The poor care for the poor.  Yes, we have a few leaders who do not experience economical poverty, but most of the responsibilities of the TLC are handled by individuals having minimal income.  Also many are uneducated.  

To experience the love of Jesus is to come and worship on a Sunday morning at the TLC.  Truly His presence is in this place.  The morning begins early with many times the floors getting mopped by a man waiting to have surgery on his shoulder.  He mops left handed because his right shoulder hurts tremendously...but he is there every Sunday, sometimes Tuesdays and sometimes Wednesdays.

A few months ago a brother and sister began to come early to help.  The brother was willing to jump in and help, but the sister was apprehensive.  The last two weeks they both invited friends to come and help.  The sister is no longer so backward and shy.  

Every Thursday and Friday our clothing room is replenished and the floors are mopped again.  The ones doing all this work are sisters and their adult daughters.   The first time they mopped the floor I could not walk on it for a couple hours because it was so wet.  I could tell they never did this kind of mopping before, yet it needed done and they did it.  Praise Jesus!

Truthfully, many who come cannot maintain a forty hour a week job, but they are the ones willing to do the work for the Lord.  In the midst of drugs, gangs, depression, God is raising up uneducated willing workers for the Gospel.  

If you want to see God’s glory all you have to do is believe and open your eyes.  Why did God take an introverted, scared country girl into the inner city?  Because I asked for boldness to share the love that I had for the Lord which was trapped inside me.  It took the gentleness and patience of a pastor and people that were hungry to be loved and to feel needed to penetrate the protective shell around my heart.  I had a fear of people because I feared not being good enough and I feared being hurt emotionally.  In my life I experienced broken love and I built a protective wall to keep me from being subjected to more pain, but the love within me was so great.  It was pressure from the inside desiring to release the love which had to work against the hard sealant that shielded the assaults of love from the outside.  Only God can change a caterpillar into a butterfly.

I hear time after time “these people” or “those people” referring to individuals who come to soup kitchens for meals or churches for groceries.  “These or those people” are God’s children and those who come to the TLC are my brothers and sisters.

Our soup kitchen is called “Manna House.”  God provided manna for the people in the desert.  At the TLC we serve three meals a week.  We cleaned our outside cooler (refrigerator) out on Friday.  Before the day was complete we received twenty boxes of bread, bagels, and muffins as well as the routine delivery from local restaurants and stores.  Saturday morning we once again received an additional delivery of muffins, bread, and bagels.  We cannot empty our pantry, freezer, or cooler.  The Lord continues to provide.

The Lord told me our churches should be open 24/7.  We cannot have our churches open if we fear who comes in.  We cannot share the gospel to those bound by the enemy if we fear accepting them into worship in their unclean state.  We cannot see change in our cities if we do not welcome in the Holy Spirit into the darkness.

I once feared people, but now I fear not being obedient to God.  Our God is a loving God, but we must be willing to change from our evil ways and humble ourselves before our Lord.  When we first come to the Father in the quiet, He will give us the wisdom and power to loose the chains of injustice, untie the cords of the yoke, to set the oppressed free and break every yoke.  When we share our food with the hungry and provide the poor wanderer with shelter, and when we clothe the naked we will then see God’s glory in the healing of the land.

I spoke with a sister who told me she first came to TLC with a friend.  Her friend asked her if she would come along with her to get groceries.  When they got to the TLC her friend told her there was a worship service first.  She was not thrilled about having to attend the service (Not required for groceries just the timing that they arrived), but she went along.  That Tuesday invited her to come Wednesday and now she can’t wait until Wednesday comes again!  She has begun to experience the love of Jesus and it is her desire to share that love to others.  From the pit of darkness and depression, she is seeing the light and walking in the Light of Jesus.  It was the food or groceries that drew her in, but it was Jesus that began a healing in her.  Praise Jesus!